I just had a birthday last Thursday!
On my birthday in 2013, I moved forward with a thought that had crossed my mind for many years...................becoming a Gestational Carrier (what most people know as a surrogate)!!! I knew that I was getting older and that if I wanted to seriously consider doing this, I needed to move it! Yes, you read correctly - I WANT TO CARRY SOMEONE ELSE'S BABY and I think that's the COOLEST THING EVER!!!
First of all let me begin by letting you know why I wanted to do this! There are many, many reasons - but the three most important ones are as follows:
1) If I were to die today, one of the regrets I would have is not being pregnant one more time. Most people think it's crazy, but I truly love being pregnant! I had both of my kids at a young age, which I am grateful for because I don't have the will or energy today to care for a baby and commit 18 years to a child! I was 20 when I had my last child and wanted to experience pregnancy again as a mature, older adult - without having to raise it. David and I have NO DESIRE to have any more kids. As a matter of fact, we are looking forward to traveling and seeing the world in about a year and a half - once Lil' D is in college - God willing, of course.
2) I have seen many close friends and family struggle with infertility. I worked with a lady several years ago who had twins through a GC and I kept up with their journey and thought it would be awesome to be a GC myself! I remember telling her I'd love to do it one day and she said I should! I can't imagine not being a parent. Being a parent is the absolute most rewarding thing EVER!!! It's definitely challenging on many days, but it is the best thing that could ever happen to a human being in my opinion. Helping an awesome couple begin their family is one of the most rewarding things I think I will ever do!
3) Modern medicine is a true miracle! To think that someone could carry someone else's child is a real trip to me! It's very complicated, but simple at the same time. Two of my favorite shows are The Little Couple and Gulianna and Bill and I have enjoyed watching them become successful as parents, even with their infertility struggles!
(There is SO MUCH to tell about this journey - and this post will be the beginning of many, but I'll try my best to post regularly so that I can keep everyone up to date on what's going on in this exciting journey).
Back to the story........So in early March I contacted a couple of companies to find out more info on the idea. They both replied to me and I got a kind of weird vibe from the first, but fell in love with the second - Surrogate Solutions!!! I discontinued contact with the first company and decided I would continue with SS.
Many of my friends say they would do what I'm doing. However, it's not as easy as it sounds! You have to be approved and there is a LONG LIST of things you have to do to even be considered. There are physical tests, psychological tests, blood tests, drug tests, home visits, meetings, tons of paperwork, interviews, pokes, prodding, etc. etc. etc. Which I think is great!!! There are also many legalities that go along with it - which I also think is great! You have to be on the same page with the parents (called Intended Parents - "IPs" for short). Your spouse and family need to also be supportive and have to go through much of the process with you as well. Many people just think you can do it - but that is NOT the case! It's not for everyone, nor should it be!
After a few months of all the things I mentioned above, I was approved and our journey began!
David and I met with three different couples. For different reasons, we weren't matched with them. And I thank God we weren't! In July we had lunch with a couple, and the next day I got word that they liked us and wanted to move forward!! They ended up choosing us and we chose them as well! For privacy reasons I will refer to the baby Momma as "J" and the baby Daddy as "D". I AM CURRENTLY 18 weeks PREGNANT with THEIR BABY BOY!
THE REST IS HISTORY pretty much!!! I will blog again in a few days to fill you in on how things have progressed. It's SUPER EXCITING TO ME!!!
Until then, I will leave you with the following:
1) You never know what infertility struggles you, your children, or grandchildren will face - so please don't take for granted how fortunate you are to have children if you are one of the lucky ones who is a fertile person!!!! I am definitely more respectful to people who don't have kids yet because I know they could possibly be struggling. I am not naive anymore to think that they just don't have them now because they don't want to. Many people would have them if they could!
2) This baby is not related to me or David biologically in any way! Some people have commented to me that they couldn't do it because they wouldn't be able to give it up! My answer to that is - I know I will be emotionally attached because I have cared for him for nine months. However, I can't wait to see his parents with him. I DON'T WANT A BABY!!! If I wanted a baby, David and I would have one - but we DON'T! He is not legally mine - he is legally J and D's baby! (I'll touch on Texas laws later - but Texas is a great state for surrogacy - it protects the parents fully - which is awesome!) So even if I thought I'd keep him, I CAN'T! lol
3) There is so much more to say - but lastly and most importantly I'd like to end with thanking my family and friends for their support through this!!!
Thanks to everyone for their support and prayers. I pray often for friends struggling with infertility issues. I appreciate their support - many have talked to me for a long time and told me how cool what I'm doing is! Many have cried as they have told me their struggles.
As many of you know - I began bootcamp with a great group of ladies in August of 2012. Through this group I lost weight, but gained lifelong friends that I can talk to about anything. This group of women have been there from the get - go when I first began this process. They have supported me and been a rock to lean on. They have texted, talked, hugged, and prayed for me and the baby and J and D. And by the way - I fully expect to rely on them again in August as I begin to lose weight for the second time - be ready girls!!!!
My school family has been great!
Some of my best friends - Shannon has been a great support! And also Shelly who has been my biggest cheerleader. She has included us in her church Bible study group since the beginning - which means more to me than she will know. I have talked to her about every step of this because her husband is a nurse practitioner and she gives the best advice on everything to me!! She is a friend I will forever cherish and is super close to my heart!
My Mom and Stepdad - bless them! They have seen me at my best and worst in my life! As I've said before, my Mom never judges me. She doesn't even give me her opinions often - because she knows at the end of the day Jennifer will do what Jennifer wants! She has let me learn on my own. And yes, I have regretted not listening to her at times. When I first told them about my plan, they kinda thought I was nuts. But they have supported me and have been there for me since the beginning! They recently met J and D and love them as much as we do! I am so glad they will be there when I have this baby for J and D. Love ya'll Mom and Robert!!!
My Kimberly - who is my best friend for eternity and is another cheerleader for me - she hasn't missed many appointments and has been so excited since I told her what I wanted to do! From the beginning she has thought it's the coolest thing and continues to be excited for J and D and for us. She has made this special for me and I couldn't have done this without her - I LOVE YOU CHELLE!!!
Lil' David is Lil' David - he doesn't get too excited over anything. And let's face it - he's a teenage boy! He is definitely supportive though. He went with me to an appointment and saw the baby on an ultrasound and thought it was pretty cool! Love him!
My husband David who thought I was a little crazy at first. Actually - we've been together for nearly 22 years - so he knows I'm crazy! lol He has supported me 200000% and is often times more excited about it than I am! He is proud of me and like me - he can't wait until J and D are parents!!! David and I will definitely shed some tears when they hold their son for the first time!
Most imporantly - J and D - who trust me with their son! They have been great support through this process. J and I text and email often. I am so glad we are close and am excited to continue to let our relationship grow. I promised them I would do all I could to make sure their child is healthy and I am doing just that! They have made this journey special for me and I am so excited for them to be parents!
I hope everyone enjoys reading about my journey! I can't wait to continue updating you on how things are going! I thank God for this opportunity and for giving us modern medicine!!!
P.S. I forgot one HUGE thing to say - I have chosen NOT to let my students know that I am a gestational carrier!!! For the simple fact that it's not easy for adults to understand, much less kids! And I don't care to have a sex talk with them about the birds and the bees! If their parents wish to explain this to them (which I don't suggest because they are only 7 and 8), that is their choice!
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